Finally Feng Shui!

When I remodeled my office last winter I should have taken more time to study the art of feng shui. It's not that I didn't love having my own space - I totally did - but I always felt weird when I sat in the chair at my table and worked on my laptop.

I stood in the doorway to take this picture and you can see that when seated, my back is to the door and I'm facing an East window. I've never really given much credence to feng shui but something about this layout just didn't feel right to me. I hated having my back to the door. It always felt like somebody would sneak up on me somehow. When I talked to my friend Kimmi, she mentioned feng shui and asked me if I'd ever thought about it when arranging furniture or redecorating my house. I honestly hadn't.

When I started looking things up, I discovered, according to several sources, that the placement of my furniture was alllllll sorts of feng-shui-wrong. Figures. Guess I'd be moving things around again. But for now? I'd just turned this room from a bedroom to a personal oasis. I was exhausted and while I wasn't perfectly comfortable with how things were laid out, I was too damn exhausted to move it.

Tonight, I finally had enough and decided to at least move my table around. The big desk may come later. It may not. Hubs typically uses that space the most (I use it only when I need to print things off or burn CD's for my clients. The rest of my work is done on the laptop.) and he couldn't give two shits what the space "feels like" as long as he's able to get done what he's attempting to do.

The chair I sit in is the blue one and, as you can see, is against the window and facing the door. It allows me to see the whole room and the door. Until I sat down, I hadn't realized just how uncomfortable the other position of the chair was. It may seem silly, but even my breathing feels deeper sitting here. I used to feel deep tension in my shoulders, now? It feels less so.

I don't know that it truly makes a difference, but I'm willing to leave things this way for a while and see how things go.

If you want to see how zen your office is, check out this article.

My Battle (a repost)

This time of year is almost always tough on me. Financial constraints and family stress during the holidays are usually the trigger point. After the holidays, I face the anniversaries of my parents deaths: my father's in January and my mother's in February. To say that winter is a bleak time for me is an understatement. It's also during this time of year that I start recognizing an old demon rearing its ugly head.

I battled depression from the time I was 9 years old. It was undiagnosed for years, then I spent another ten years on one psychotropic drug after another. I also spent years in therapy with psychologists who were hell bent on labeling me any and every way they could. Agoraphobic, manic depressive and narcoleptic were some of the most outrageous. I was prescribed meds that were typically given to schizophrenics and narcoleptics. It was unreal the amount of drugs I had pumped through my system in the 90's and 00's.

Since my days of diagnosed depression, I've done a lot of research on that particular diagnosis as well as the other diagnoses I was given during that time. I've come to understand what situations trigger that behavior in me and, over time, have successfully eliminated many of those situations. I've worked very, very hard to surround myself with supportive, positive people. People who build me up rather than break me down. I've also chose to cut ties with friends and family who reflect the behavior that I'm trying to avoid in myself.

As a result I've been med-free for almost five years. This battle is one that I dance with daily. I know myself and I know how easy it is to slip back into that depression. For my own self preservation, I have to remove myself from places and situations that may trigger those low points from me. Much like a diabetic has to regular sugar and insulin, I have to regulate being supportive to friends who may be feeling defeated and stepping away entirely to protect myself.

I spent ten years in a black cloud of negativity. I spent every day wondering if anything was ever going to go right for me. I wondered daily "Why me?" I stayed awake at night worry about the "What next's?"

I'm a firm believer that God only gives us what He knows we can handle. He gives us the tools to become strong and to recognize our limits. That ten year cloud was my limit. I can never go there again. I've come to realize what things I need to do to guarantee I don't reach those limits again.

It's not that I don't want to be supportive. It's not that I have no sympathy for those dealing with depression. It's not even that I don't understand what they're going through. The fact of the matter is - I can't help them without hurting me.

And that's not something I'm willing to sacrifice again.

Ever.

Far too long

I've been so caught up in a thousand other things going on that I don't have time to blog about them.

Most in the forefront of my mind is a move to New York.

Hubs gave the go-ahead a couple weeks ago that we can try New York. It wasn't without conversation and deep consideration, mind you, but it will be happening. There've been too many opportunities come up lately that I can no longer ignore. The city calls me more loudly every day and I can't get it out of my head. It's gone past a want and straight to a need to be in that city. Now comes the stress of coordinating a cross-country move for the three of us (Big Man doesn't want to go and will continue living with his dad - as he has the last 18 months), but will visit as often as he's able to). The general plan is for me to go out in June. Sis will join me in August and hubby will follow as soon as he can get transferred to the midtown office. I'm looking for temporary summer housing (so if anybody knows of any...), then once I'm there, I can hopefully save the money needed to get into a bigger place for the three of us. I'm already exhausted just thinking about it, but exhilarated, too. We will be working out the details in the coming months and a lot of different things need to come into play - work...housing (both there and here)...Sis's schooling...

Which leads me to the next bit of chaos in our lives: getting Sis on track scholastically. It's no shock to anyone, I'm sure, that this has been an ongoing problem. Shelby's grades, that is. She's struggled to stay focused for years (yes, she's been tested for ADHD. It's not an issue.) and we've begged the school to keep her back so she's got another year to mature and become more organized. It's been denied. This year, however, her dads and I decided as a parenting team that if she doesn't bring her grades up significantly in the coming months, we will hold her back this year. We broke that news to her about two weeks ago and she's not thrilled with it, but understands our reasoning behind the decision. The guidance counselor is aware of our decision and agrees that it's wisest to do it this year rather than next year when she's in high school and colleges are starting to take things into consideration scholarship-wise. That being said, the young woman has gotten caught up on ALL her late work and has already raised her science grade from an F to a B-. She struggles with some of her other classes still, but I have faith that she'll bring those up, too. She's made promises before and never follows through on them. This time, not only does she have a different attitude than before, it feels very different to me. She's a totally different child.

The last little bit of news, while on the surface may seem sad, is actually very exciting to me. I'm closing my business after three years of successful portraiture work. I've learned that the business end of my business makes the rest of it miserable. I've lost creativity, passion and heart for taking pictures and, not to blow my own horn, with as good as I am at photography, it would be a travesty if I let that die. In order to keep my passion alive, I'm closing my doors. I will continue to take pictures, but not because someone's paying me to. I will shoot what I want to shoot, when I want to shoot it. I may sell the prints. I may not. It depends on my mood at the moment. But to have this excitement back again is worth losing the money I would've made. As a matter of fact, I shot a newborn sitting of my great-nephew, Weston today. Around 100 pictures were taken and now..just twelve hours later, I've gotten them edited and ready to burn to a CD tomorrow. I've never edited anything this fast in my entire life. It feels good to get my groove back.

I'm working on my website - it's a matter of laziness on my part. I've been so overwhelmed with other stuff that I haven't done much with it. It's built. It's ready to go live. I just need to add content to it..something I haven't made the time for. SOON!

Until then, I'll continue to ignore you here. ;)

Til next time...

Pick on Someone Your Own Size

In the last week, I've heard from three different people about abuse going on in their lives or the lives of someone close to them. I'm absolutely sickened by this.

I know it may seem like I'm intolerant of a lot of things, but really, when it boils down to it, there are only three things that really get my dander up: drug/alchol abuse, children with parents who refuse to parent and physical/emotional abuse of ANY kind.

I'm a strong-willed woman. I have an opinion about almost everything and I'm not afraid to voice it. I'm very independent in many ways. I'm also one of the first people someone calls when they need advice or an adversary.

I know that at least one of you who has been doing the abusing is on my friends list and at least one more of you reads what I post online, so let me state something very clearly.


I'm watching you.

I'm paying attention.

She may not be stronger than you are.
She may not be smarter than you are.
She may not be richer, more attractive or more connected than you are.

But she does have something you don't:

ME.

If I were you, I'd pick up the pieces of your pathetic little lives and move on. Say goodbye to her. And walk backward toward the door...because let's be honest, with as pissed as I am, you don't want your back toward me.

GET HELP.

Or I'll help you get it. And I'm pretty sure you're not going to like the help I get you.

You've been warned.

It's time!

For the last few months, my bestie, Ann Marie and I have been counting down to our vacation in New York. We've battled through sickness, crappy weather, crappier jobs, mischievous kids, emotional and financial setbacks. It's been a rough few months.

But in less than 8 hours, we'll be boarding a plane on our way to our favorite city in the world.

Together.

This? Is going to be unforgettable.

New York? Here we come!

Some changes...

The last six months I've slipped from my usually smiley (yet snarky) self into a hollow shell of what I was. I've become bitchy, judgmental and quick to bite heads off. I'm sick of it myself, so I can only imagine how tired of it you all are.

I'm sorry.

All that changes right now. I'm going to fight to bring old Melly back - the witty, sarcastic, fun-loving, laughs-all-the-time one. I'll need your help. When you see me slipping, Gibbs slap me, k?

Now...that being said, I feel it's only fair that I warn you over the course of the next week, I'm going to become over the top giddy with energy and excitement. I've never spent an entire week in my favorite city with my bestie, so I could get a little crazy. Bear with me. Mute me if I get to be too much, but come back when my squeeing is over, k? I will miss you.

(**Disclaimer: I will still call Jon a Fartass and Cudlitz a Fucker. I'll still second guess AJ's recovery, teeter-totter on whether Joe's ego is over the top and tell Danny to smile in all his twitpics. I'll still scream at Pierce to stop missing 3's [I mean seriously, Paul...they're NOT that tough]. I'll still talk too damn much and still share inside jokes with @DonniesDancer that very few others understand. I'll still talk in code sometimes, too. But if you're willing to stick around, I promise I'll be 100% ME again. Deal?)

2010 in Pictures

I usually speak in words, not photographs, but sometimes words just aren't sufficient.

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

2010 Resolutions Revisted

 I go back and forth with resolutions and whether or not I'll make them. This is why:


This was my list from last year.

I'll address each one individually:

1. Sleep at least once a day. I know that sounds like a no-brainer for most people. With my schedule the last year, this hasn't always been the case. I mostly made this one. There were a few days when I only got an hour or two of sleep, but I did sleep, so that's an improvement from 2009.

2. Buy one dress each month and wear them as often as possible. I bought ONE new dress. Guess that means I have 11 more to buy in the next four hours, eh?

3. Subscribe to a magazine. Does it count when someone else subscribes you to a magazine? I think so. DONE!

4. Accomplish the weight loss goal I set for myself last summer. (So far, I'm on track, just slowed down a bit.) Let's not talk about it. Moving on.

5. Continue eliminating toxic people from my life. If they don't build me up, they have no business being here. I've become the toxic person and I hate it. This one? Totally needs work.

6. Send birthday cards and/or emails to all my friends and family (So if you think I don't have your birthday saved, please send me an email with your birthdate!). #EPICfail

7. Travel more with my family. Yeah, not so much.

8. Take more bubble baths. I think I took three the whole year.

9. Go camping a few times. I didn't go even once.

10. Read 50 new books. I read three. But I wrote one. That counts, right? No? Damn.

11. Redecorate my bedroom. Still same old drab deco.

12. Spend a long weekend traveling with each of my kids separately. Yeah, didn't happen. #MomFail

13. Spend a long weekend with my husband...and only my husband. This didn't happen either.

14. Spend more time taking pictures of things I enjoy rather than things I'm being paid to shoot. Not nearly enough time on the fun stuff.

15. Finish writing my book. YES!

16. Finish writing my other book. Sorry. I was too busy with #15.

17. Visit three new states I've never been to before. I visited California. One outta three ain't bad.

18. Revisit three states I've already been to.  New York, Illinois and Missouri

19. See a pro sports team play...still haven't decided who or where yet. Another no-go. BUT, I did catch a cab in front of Madison Square Garden, so I'm making progress.

20. Blog daily. BWAAAHAAAAHAAAAHAAA! *deep breath* HAAAAAAAA!

So what does that mean for this year? I'll probably make another 20 resolutions that won't come true, but it is kinda fun to come up with new things to accomplish. Let's see how we do, shall we? Stay tuned for tomorrow's list of resolutions for 2011.

Yes, Melanie...there is a Santa Claus

1988 was a hard year for my mom and me. My mother was re-diagnosed with cancer in March and had surgery, chemo and radiation during most of April. My parents divorce was final in May and we had very little money, forcing us to move from our three-bedroom home in the country to a tiny two-bedroom apartment in town. Unfortunately, this tight budget also limited my Christmas list that year. Mom was working full-time at Target, but I didn't want to stress her out by asking for a bunch of things I knew she couldn't get me. I wanted to keep my wish list small. That's why, when I saw a picture in a women's magazine, I tore it out immediately and showed it to my mom. She gave me a firm "We'll see."

The picture was of the first edition Happy Holidays Barbie doll. She was stunning. I'd always been a Barbie Girl," but they were all packed away now, as I felt I'd outgrown them since I'd turned 14 in July. The kid in me came out, though. I just couldn't resist this doll. Her dress was a vibrant red and had layers of stiff, sparkly red tulle. Her blonde tresses were perfectly curled and she even had tiny little red high-heels to match her gown. She had a beautiful Christmas tree ornament and even her own matching display stand. I wanted this doll more than anything in the world! In fact, I didn't even ask for anything else. I folded the magazine picture carefully and carried it around in my purse for two months.

I knew Target would be getting a shipment sometime in November. I was so impatient, but Mom came home the day after Thanksgiving with a distraught look on her face. She said, "Honey, she just flew off the shelves. Target got six of them in and they were gone within minutes. They told me that's the only shipment we'll get. I'm sorry I couldn't get you one." She was nearly in tears as she apologized for not being able to get one. I was obviously disappointed, but I tried not to let it show, especially knowing how upset Mom was. I told her I understood and gave her an amended Christmas list. Afterward, I took the picture from my purse and threw it out. I didn't want any sour reminders.

We celebrated Christmas at my brother's house that year and we brought all the presents from home and opened them there. Mom was feeling a bit worn out and asked me if I could open up the present one of her coworkers had sent home for her. Her friend knew she'd had a rough year and wanted to make sure she had something to open on Christmas. I opened the package for Mom and handed her the pretty strawberry potholders that her friend had given her and then I noticed what was tucked beneath them...that familiar logo, those gorgeous blonde curls and that vibrant red tulle. 

 I still don't know how she did it and I never will, but Mom gave me the best present in the whole world that day: she showed me that there is indeed a Santa Claus.

Thank you, Mom.

Distance and Time

Carlene Cooper was your average teenager. Average, that is, except for her relationship with Josh McCarthy, a member of one of the hottest bands in the world, South Station Boyz. Young love blossomed at a chance meeting when Carly was a senior in high school and Josh was just discovering what stardom really meant. Despite their chemistry, however, it was no surprise to anyone when their very different lives took very different paths a few months down the road.

Years later, their stars align again and they must decide if the spark they felt back then is strong enough to rekindle. Josh has built a name for himself in show business, but Carly, too, has also established herself as a serious journalist in New York City. Will they be able to successfully merge their lives and overcome the obstacles that drove them apart a decade earlier?

Just as she comes to the decision that will determine her and Josh's future together, Detective Trey Foster enters her life unexpectedly and Carly is faced with another choice. Will she choose the man she's spent her whole life loving or will she push it aside for a chance at happiness out of the spotlight?

This? Is my baby.

This is the story I've been working on since last year that has had me cussing and crying and shouting at the wind. Its fate sits in the hand of a publisher right now. They could scrap it and say they're not interested or they could ask me for more chapters to see what they're dealing with. I should know in a few weeks and will keep you posted.

No middle ground for me.

It's no secret that I speak what's on my mind and deal with the consequences of those words later. The other day I got into some hot water for having spoken my mind on Facebook. Long story short, people stuck their noses in where they didn't belong and my husband got dragged into it. (Believe me, you don't want to know.)

I sat there after all this happened in tears, dreading going into work. Hubs was home and we were talking about it. I told him that I hated that I didn't know how not to vent about things that make me mad or frustrate me. It's so natural for me to just spout off whatever's on my mind. I wear my heart on my sleeve and open myself up to shit like this regularly. I don't hold back. And it gets me into trouble. I told him, "I wish I could be like you: have a blow-up and four minutes later, be sleeping soundly with all of it blocked out."

That's when he pointed out something I hope I never forget: With blocking out the stress comes blocking out the passion.

I just sat there and looked at him as I let it all sink in. He continued, "When I shut out the stress and the emotion and the anger, I also shut out the smiles and the laughter and the happy. Just like you wish you could be like me, I wish I could be like you. You feel EVERYTHING...as big as possible. You laugh for hours. You smile constantly. You're in a constant state of high emotion, whether you're happy or pissed. You don't know how to do middle ground and I love that about you. Me? I feel nothing most days. I don't get pissed or angry, but that means I also don't laugh a lot. I don't smile all that often. I keep everything pretty middle-of-the-road because I don't know how not to."

He made me realize that I never want to be like that. So if it means I have to apologize for my words, wrap my hand because I've punched a wall or pick up the shards of whatever I've broken, I'll do it. Because I wouldn't give up this laughter, these smiles and this happiness for anything in the world. 

The pissed will pass.

The laughter? Never.

#tweetyour16yearoldself: The Blog

Inspired by a recently trending topic, I decided instead of spamming my followers with all the advice I had for my teenage self, I would blog about it. Some advice is funny. Some not-so-much. All of it's the truth.

1. You. Are. Not. Fat.
2. See that crazy Asian girl sitting over there by the fireplace all by herself? She needs you. And you need her. It will always be that way.
3. Your obsession with these five guys from Boston will never end.
4. But that's okay because twenty years from now, you're not only going to have met them, but they're going to know you by name and face.
5. Don't spend so much time trying to be grown up. You had to. I get it. But now? The pressure's off. Enjoy being young so you don't spend the rest of your life trying to be sixteen again.
6. Don't waste your time trying to fit in with the cool kids. Be who you are and they'll flock to you.
7. Stop being so self-conscious.
8. Those hickies make you look like a slut. Stop it.
9. Start deciding what you want to do now because that whole wife/mom thing isn't all it's cracked up to be some days. You'll want to have something to fall back on when it falls apart.
10. You're going to be given an ultimatum to stay a cheerleader or go to a YABE weekend. Go with your gut. You'll *never* regret that decision.
11. I repeat, you are NOT fat.
12. Don't be so hard on your brother and sister-in-law. This is a HUGE adjustment for them, too. Cut them a little slack and stop acting like a spoiled brat.
13. Yes, Mom is proud of you.
14. Call Dad more often and stay close. There's going to come a time when you wish you had.
15. You're going to marry the wrong man, but that's okay because he's going to give you two beautiful children.
16. You have plenty of time to settle down and have a family. Don't rush it. Take your time, explore your options. Open up your life to opportunities farther away than this one little state. Try Boston College, NYU or Northwestern. You're smart enough to get into any of those three schools.
17. You've got a great voice. Sing and be heard.
18. That Asian girl? Call her more often and don't let her slip away. Remember what I said about her needing you.
19. It's okay to be sad. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to say "Why Me?" Say it. Feel it. Be it. Then get over it. You are not a victim. You're a survivor.
20. Write more.
21. Use birth control. Always. It not only can happen to you. It will happen to you.
22. There's something coming along in about five years called "The Internet." It's going to both ruin your life and save your life. It will bring people into your circle you never thought possible. Some will be there to build you up. Some to break you down. Embrace them all with open arms (just be sure to listen to your gut on that whole breaking-you-down thing. The signs will be there).
23. You will drift away from your siblings over the next twenty years. It's okay. They will be replaced by "brothers" and "sisters" that love you more than you realize. I can't explain it. Just go with it.
24. Stay away from the Sun-In and the hair bleach. Blonde is not your color.
25. That pimple-faced kid is sweet, but he's not the one. 
26. And for God's sake, don't sleep with him.
27. Pay more attention in English and take some lit classes. 
28. Congratulations on just saying no to drugs.
29. Ask your sister-in-law to teach you how to manage your money.
30. How many times do I have to say it? You are not fat.

I can do anything!

I can do anything.

Barbie told me so.

I am, was and always will be a Barbie Girl. I received my first doll when I was 3 and bought my last one just a few years ago. I owned almost every doll that Mattel put out in the 80's. I had the houses, the cars, the pools, the outfits, the shoes (Lord, the shoes!)...you name it, I had it.

Over the years, Mattel has changed Barbie's body mold to personify a more realistic looking "person" for girls to identify with, but the truth (for me, at least) is that I didn't love Barbie because she had great clothes and a 18" waist. I loved Barbie because she was exactly who I wanted to be: A movie star, Homecoming Queen, a rockstar, a bride, a mom, a doctor, a police officer, a roller skating queen, a Playboy centerfold, a vet, a dancer, an astronaut...and a thousand other things my childhood imagination concocted. Barbie was anything I wanted her to be.

Was she beautiful? Of course, but her beauty wasn't what drew me to her. It was the dreams and imagination she inspired in me.

I may be too old to play with dolls now, but Barbie still inspires me and I still believe I can do anything.

NYC 2010: Unforgettable

I've wrestled over the last few days with writing this blog about my recent trip to New York City. There were so many incredible things that happened to me and I want to share them all, but in all honesty, some things just can't be put into words. Even for me.

This trip was something I never thought I'd be able to do in the first place, so the fact that I was able to go was a miracle in itself. When you combine that with the people I met and the things I got to do, it's almost as if I'm still waiting to open my eyes and it all to have been a dream.

But there they are: the pictures of those I met, online video clips from the talk show I visited three days in a row, receipts and business cards from places I visited. And the memories.

The most amazing parts of this trip wouldn't have been possible if it hadn't been for my friend Sherri, who not only provided me with a place to stay but also shared her life and family with me for three days. She let me tag along with her to work (despite my gasps and "Shut UP!"'s when she would introduce me to yet another celebrity I'd long-admired). She joined me and my friends for lunch more than once. She opened her heart and her home to me, allowing me to see a side of herself not many get to see. I will always cherish that trust. And for that reason, I will not be going into many details about the how's and what's of everything I experienced, but I can share some of the less-private moments.

Suffice it to say, I met some amazing people and was afforded some pretty spectacular once-in-a-lifetime Views (no pun intended). For those wondering,  the ladies of the View (Sherri Shepherd, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Joy Behar, Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters) are exactly what you see on camera - they're funny and witty and personable and kind. They each took time from their busy schedules to pose for photographs and chit-chat with me a bit. The staff at the View is also one-of-a-kind. So many nice people!! Maria Shriver, Rod Stewart and Patricia Heaton were all VERY sweet people. All three were willing to take pictures with us and I even chatted with Maria for a few minutes in the elevator on the way up to the studio. While I saw Tyler Perry, Isaac Mizrahi, Stephen Colbert, Arianna Huffington and Janet Napolitano from a distance, I didn't get a chance to talk to any of them (except for an "Excuse me, I'm so sorry" from Isaac when he ran into me in the Green Room).

The most ironic thing about this trip is that while it started out as a NKOTB/Joe McIntyre thing, it ended up as so much less than that. In fact, Joe's show was such a minute part of the trip, it's easy to forget that I actually went (and had a good time). I think I needed this trip to put things into better perspective for myself. I didn't hang out outside Joe's Pub for hours, I didn't stalk Donnie on the set of Blue Bloods. I didn't hang around after the show or try to find where Joe and Eman were staying. The whole lack of NK frenzy gave this trip that much more of an incredible and unique feel to it. It was nice to just attend something for them rather than make it my entire obsession. Very pleasant change of pace.

While Roxy, Sherri and I were on our way to Times Square to meet Clarita for lunch, Donnie tweeted "Today... Remember what's truly important! Material things? Superficial stuff? No! THE MOMENTS MATTER! Life your life & cherish every second!"  Talk about ironic! The three of us had just discussed how much the memory means as opposed to autographs and gifts. I brought home only one souvenir from my trip. The moments, though? They will live on in my memory and my heart for years and years to come. Nobody can take them away from me.

They were unforgettable.

(a bracelet Sherri gave me from Maria Shriver)

Thank you, Sherri for one of the most amazing experiences of my life. I love you so much for your gift of friendship and for sharing your life with me. 

Love deeply and without restraint

I sat today in a funeral home in southern Iowa at the memorial service for my friend Teri Fenton. She left behind four kids, five step-kids, nine grandchildren and her husband, also named Terry, who sits home alone tonight a broken man.

We're friends with numerous couples. Some we've known for decades, others a small time frame. We've known those who are in it for the long haul and those who quit after just a few years. Then there are couples like the Fentons who are each one half of the other person. They had their own interests, of course - all couples do, but to see them together, there was no doubt how in love they were.

To see Terry hunched over sobbing, his grief overwhelming him, broke my heart. I leaned my head against my husband's shoulder and squeezed his hand a little tighter as we sat through the rest of the service. I know I complain about him a lot, but tonight? I'm so grateful he's here and that he loves me...that he completes me.

All Terry has left of his wife tonight are her charred wedding rings, which he wears on a chain around his neck. For him...for all of those who've lost their other half...hugs yours a little tighter tonight.

 RIP Teri